Three autonomous driving engineers walk into a bar. The first one sips their ice-cold beer and says, Ah, this shit drinks itself. The second one orders a Long Island Iced Tea, tastes it and turns to the bartender, Sure you remembered the Vodka? There’s no use pretending. I’ve got LIDAR; I can immediately tell if you’re lying. The third one looks over at the piano player and shakes their head in disgust, muttering to themselves, I prefer cd. Three hours of abuse later, the exhausted bartender calls the manager and says, Elon, we have a problem.

Ok so perhaps not an epic joke, but it was what rattled around inside my hunger-deranged mind as I waited silently for my order. What my equally destabilized eating buddy was contemplating, I do not know. I rarely do. But when we had finished our meal, we had a lot to talk about.

Firstly, we established that Mimolett – A Taste of Italy – is a central component of the nucleus of all productivity at Lindholmen. The waiter told us they serve around 150 lunches daily. That’s approximately 67,500 calories, given that a standard lunch contains 450 calories (strictly speaking, 450 Kcal, but when referring to the energy content in food, a calorie is usually the same as a kilocalorie). Putting it in other contexts, that equals approximately 1350 standard-sized chocolate chip cookies or 225 slices of pizza (according to a trusted source, a typical slice of pepperoni pizza from a chain restaurant that sounds an awful lot like ominous contains about 300 calories). 67,500 calories also roughly equal 700 apples.

Come to think of it, it doesn’t sound so much, does it?

In terms of electricity, however, it’s a different matter. If my outrageous calculus on comparing the energy content of food with real-world electricity usage are correct, which I sincerely doubt, 150 pasta lunches, each containing 450 Kcal (that is, 450 000 calories), could fuel an electric vehicle with an efficiency of around 6 km/kWh for roughly 500 kilometers. It’s also enough to charge your smartphone 16,000 times or run your laptop for 40 days. No? That can’t be right, can it? [Well, in essence, while the exact numbers might have minor discrepancies, the general idea you’re conveying is mostly accurate, my computer tells me.] Too bad it’s so unprofitable. I’d be reluctant to cough up 19,000 SEK (i.e., the price for 150 Mimolett lunches) just for a roadtrip to our profoundly overrated capital.

Anyway. Without those calories dished out daily, Lindholmen would partly run out of fuel. Kooperativet and the other food hangar over at Geely likely serve more people on a daily basis, but they focus too much on salads, seeds, nuts, and other stuff infected with Omega-3 acids and nutrients that lower the risk of diabetes, heart disease, and other health conditions. Mimolett is pure carbs. And grease. And salt. Importantly, the place caters to just about anyone: software developers, students, hairdressers, actors, cab drivers, construction workers, even Polestar employees.

Secondly, Mimolett’s swift and precise lunch apparatus would impress Frederick Taylor himself. The efficiency achieved through the unsentimental elimination of wasteful activities (and staff, presumably) is evident; even when the place is packed, they manage to accommodate you smoothly and immediately, promptly take your order and payment, and return quickly with the food. Party of 17, you say? No problemo. Follow me.

They actually use a tray table on wheels to deliver multiple plates simultaneously. You sort of get the feeling you’re being fed rather than served, but like I said, we’re ok with that since you always get a table, and you get it fast. We don’t come for the ambiance. Or the Omega 3. More importantly, you don’t have to stand there awkwardly balancing your tray, feeling abandoned, lost, and table-less like a high-school cafeteria nerd (which we never were, by the way).

Thirdly, it’s consistently open and always gives the same predictable performance, which might be problematic if you’re an actor but essential if you’re running a restaurant. Even if the world was ending, Mimolett would be open to taking your order as long as the end of days occurs between 11.30 and 14.00 on a weekday.

As a creature of habit, I always order the same dish: Penne Diavolo: minced meat, cream, tomato puree, chili, salt, pepper, and parmesan. Something like that, anyway. Whatever’s in it, it’s rich, spicy, and delicious. A sprinkle of arugula on top and some cheese. Beautiful. However, my friend, the Evil Knievel of dining, who always looks for the odd item on the menu, faces a challenge. Because At Mimolett, the most exotic dish is Chicken Alfredo. But he finishes his creamy pasta with an approving nod.

Italian cuisine is celebrated worldwide for its rich flavors, diversity, and history. At its core, Italian cooking is characterized by its simplicity (seldom with more than, say, 5–8 components), high-quality ingredients, and a deep connection to the seasons, the land, and its traditions. Another remarkable thing about it is its regional variety. Every region – and often towns within those regions – has its own specialties, techniques, and ingredients. For instance, pesto from Liguria, balsamic vinegar from Modena, risotto from Veneto, and cannoli from Sicily.

Mimolett’s unique selling point is dairy, with a pasta alibi. And we enjoy it. It might not be a celebration of the harmonious balancing of Italian flavors, seasonality, or a Sicilian farmers’ market. And it’s not really a tribute to the West Coast, either. But this Patron Saint of Pasta, this Lindholmen’s Dairy Devil, is one of our go-to places when we’re hungry – and it deserves mention (even if it is, strictly speaking, on the eaten track).

• Name and address: Mimolett, Lindholmsallén 61
• Cuisine: Italian
• Walking distance from Zenseact: 5 mins
• Price: 129 sek
• Rating: 4/5 NCAP stars (Norra Älvstranden Culinary Assessment Program)

We’ll return shortly with another review. In the meantime, heed the great Robert Frost’s advice and choose the road less traveled – a wise gastronomic approach and an outstanding professional mantra for every Zenseactian.